bent
17.10.05
for all it's worth
all the burden i bore
dread and sorrow stealing my rest
impaired by the pain in my chest
droplets of sweat fall beneath
formed patterns i alone can see
as i remain stooped down
appearing like a ball that's spun
cowardly staying here after
afraid of being shattered
here we are, here i am
stuck in a place i dreamt
more feared than wished upon
alone and left behind
--Stop.--
5:49 PM
ability
14.10.05
if there was one gift that i will ask from heaven
a special power for example that is completely true
i will want to have the ability to read minds
to know what is really going on in the people i loved
or even in the strangers that i meet
but where's the fun in all of these things?
there are no more surprises in life
if there is also one thing that i love
it is the challenge of having something "NEW"
the unpredictability of life itself
the exploration of the unknown
so i'd rather not ask this gift from heaven
i'd rather not desire to change anything
i'll take life as it comes; surprise me
challenge me, hurt me, make me happy
all of which constitutes the totality of LIFE
the challenges, pain, joy, surprises, the unknown
that is left for everyone to explore
to live life fully, satisfactorily... happy.
--Stop.--
12:49 AM
tangible reality
the pain is still so real and strong
it has been years yet i cannot move on
i could barely forget even if i tried
that is why at night, my eyes are never dried
is it you that i really miss?
or i just want to have new memories
to feel secure, loved, safe, accepted
be able to trust again and not be betrayed
i crave for the mere label, symbol, character
of a best and suited partner
--Stop.--
12:46 AM
truth be told
it is not what it seems
i may appear to be that
truth be told
i am not who i say i am
you say and think you know me
i say and think i know you
truth be told
we really do not know each other
we have been together for years
done a lot of things together
truth be told
as if i have a choice
i hate you
you hate me
truth be told
we both are lying
i cannot stand you
you cannot stand me either
truth be told
we both want the same thing
you move away
i move away
truth be told
we just want to be followed
we say it's fate
we say it's destiny
truth be told
secretly, we desire it to be
everything said here
are all hypocrisy
truth be told
who am i kidding?
dated: April 9, 2005
--Stop.--
12:38 AM
masquerade
i try to hide it
i try to conceal it
i try to pretend at least
i try to masquerade them
i never want to give in
i never want to lose
i never want to be obvious
i never want to be vulnerable
the mere fact that i am hiding them
means that i already lost
the mere fact that i am pretending
means that i have a secret
the mere fact that i am masquerading
means that i am aware of them
should i snap back to what is real
should i stop acting and be all true
should i tell you and be free
should i keep it and pretend still
dated: april 14, 2005
--Stop.--
12:34 AM
